Cultural experiences and funny musings by two twenty-somethings living abroad

He said, she said – The Modern Dating Game


Since me and Jasper have had our fair share of relationships and we have always asked each other for advice to try and understand the opposite sex, we thought it would be a fun idea to write up about a typical dating scenario and what exactly we are thinking at each step. This was very fun to do and it seems that men truly are quite simple !

The first contact:

Girl: Why are all the guys such creeps?

Guy: I’m afraid of going up to her and chatting, she might think I’m a creep…

Girl: Well, he looks nice! I hope I am staring at him enough for him to come over and talk to me! Do I look too keen? Should I wave?

Guy: She’s pretty hot, giving me a lot of eye..

Guy: Oh she’s waving at me now

Guy: *cringe*

Girl: Ahh maybe I shouldn’t have done that. Bit awkward. Oh well, at least I got his name, so time to Facebook stalk!

Girl: Oooh he loves travelling!! Uh-oh..maybe should not have had another glass of wine, I seem to accidentally have clicked “add”… But hey, it’s the modern age and all, right?

Guy: Eeks, random facebook add! Fit though…

Girl : WHY AREN’T YOU MESSAGING ME?!!!!??!!! come on already……

Girl : *waiting* I’ve made the first move already! I can’t message him now as well or I will look crazy. And anyway, I read the book “He’s just not that into you” cover to cover, so if he wants to, he will write to me first and that’s that.

Also, no more wine.

Guy: *playing xbox with the lads and drinking beer*

Girl: ok, patience is not exactly one of my strengths. So I have thought of a few questions I could ask that don’t look too weird. I am not getting any younger after all. *sends message*

Guy: How did she get my number…? Ah well, she’s got it anyhows, might as well respond!

Guy: I’ll just talk about myself, simplest thing to do! *makes note: don’t. forget. to. ask. questions. What is questions?

Girl: YESSSSSS! Finally! He suggested we grab a drink!

*tells her friends, picks “date” outfit, has more wine*

Guy: *get’s the first shirt he sees out of his drawers, throws some jeans on and goes to the date via the cash point*

The First Date

Girl: Well, he definitely isn’t as smart looking as I wanted him to be but we will get to that later. I feel nervous. What is he thinking about me?

Guy: Well, she’s pretty fit. Now, what here can I actually afford…?

Girl: I think we have a connection! This is great! Didn’t think guys like this existed anymore. We are getting along so, so well! However, I should probably text my friends a bit less about how great the date is going.. Think he’s noticed.

Guy: Shite, think I’m boring her, the phone’s out…

Girl: Arggg, the awkward dinner bill. I might escape to the loos!

Guy: I wonder if she’ll offer to pay… really can’t afford a €20 bottle of wine and a €30 steak!

Girl: Ok, it seems like he’s settled the bill! Woot, woot free dinner 😀 now, do I actually like him enough to kiss him? Still can’t figure out what he’s thinking.

Guy: Looks like I’m on soup for the month…

The Relationship

Girl : So, it’s been a few weeks and things are going great! He is such an awesome guy! We have already been to the zoo, had more dinners and drinks – it’s going great!

Guy: I’m so so broke….

Girl: We now talk ALL the time! We text, facebook message, skype  – we are getting so close! I’m so happy.

Guy: I wonder if she’ll try that move I saw in that video…

The 1st Argument:

Girl: Arg!! He is SO annoying! Does he not get it??!! Seriously, it’s like dating a  brainless monkey sometimes! Why can he not consider my feelings for once?

Guy: Blah Blah Blah Blah Blah, she doesn’t stop does she?

The 100th Argument:

Girl: I. HATE. YOU! You bring nothing but misery to my life – you just dont get it! And you’re not even trying!

Guy: I HATE YOU! I’m now so angry, I’m bald from pulling all my hair out in frustration!

The Break Up:

Girl: This is horrendous! 😥 I think he was the One… Should I text him maybe? We only argued about stupid stuff anyway.. We really could have made it work. Communication is key after all. I can’t even Look at another guy… 😦

Guy: I’m free! I’m free! Now I can go see whoever I want again!

Moving on

Guy: Shite… why did I break up with her?

Girl: Oooooh, he’s good looking! I wonder what his name is..


2 comments on “He said, she said – The Modern Dating Game

  1. Trevor Philips
    June 20, 2015

    Come on
    Let me tell you it’s not always like that!!!
    Even though it sometimes is
    Maybe you should create a dating consulting website 😉


    • hmsies
      June 20, 2015

      Hey Trevor! haha of course it’s not always like that! We can’t exactly write about every situation. However, as for the dating consulting website – fab idea! Nowadays though, there is so much on the internet! It looks like it’s all been covered 🙂 so we’ll leave it to the experts.


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This entry was posted on June 18, 2015 by in Things that make us go 'hmmmm' and tagged , , , .
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